Over a million developers have joined DZone.
{{announcement.body}}
{{announcement.title}}

10 more things a Scrum Master can do to drive the team crazy

DZone's Guide to

10 more things a Scrum Master can do to drive the team crazy

· Agile Zone ·
Free Resource

Adopting a DevOps practice starts with understanding where you are in the implementation journey. Download the DevOps Transformation Roadmap. Brought to you in partnership with Techtown.

Now that the team is armed with new weapons, it is time to help the Scrum Master to fight back. If you didn’t read my first post on this topic have a look at the 10 things a Scrum Master can do to drive the team crazy blog post I wrote two years ago. Here we go:

  1. Get your own office, if possible in a different city or even country. Working at the same location as your team could be harmful.
  2. Count the number of finished tasks per team member and confront those lazy buggers with the obvious low performance.
  3. Try to restrict communication with the team to email only. You don’t want to hear their whiny voices.
  4. Don’t tell the team what you are working on. Transparency only applies to the rest of the team.
  5. Always cite the Scrum guide if members don’t stand to the Scrum rules. Continuous repetition will help raising the team’s understanding for this process.
  6. If a team member has a question, point them to Google. Google has all the answers, right?
  7. Ignore the Product Owner. It is his responsibility to create and maintain the backlog, not yours.
  8. Don’t attend the Sprint Review. It is a meeting exclusively between the PO and the team.
  9. Nurture your lack of interest about the product the team is building. This is something the PO has to take care of.
  10. Bring drums to the team’s office and play them like on a slave ship. Every good team needs a beat.

I’m looking forward to your additions in the comments :)

Take Agile to the next level with DevOps. Learn practical tools and techniques in the three-day DevOps Implementation Boot Camp. Brought to you in partnership with Techtown.

Topics:

Published at DZone with permission of

Opinions expressed by DZone contributors are their own.

{{ parent.title || parent.header.title}}

{{ parent.tldr }}

{{ parent.urlSource.name }}