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The Corrosive Effects of Sloth

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The Corrosive Effects of Sloth

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Well, it turns out that IntelliJ is not what is really slow, it's Scala. I am kind of a jackass for not having figured that out right away. But this week I was doing some straight Java in IntelliJ, TDD-style, and it was fast, so I did a search on 'IntelliJ scala slow' and hit this StackOverflow thread.

The irony of a language that offers syntactic sugar to lessen typing, that then makes for insufferable compile times is so rife. Oh, please, ye programmers of the future, use any word with me you may choose, but please, NEVER use the word lean, for the gods sake. Let‘s realign the deadliest sins, along the doctrines of lean: surely, there are 2 levels of sin possible:

  1. ignoring the call to grease the wheel that truly will reap the largest overall benefits, out of unintended ignorance (you can get out your compiler rosary bead for this one)
  2. inverting the whole Lean system to serve the immediately craven and silly desires of the programmer (to type less, to write in a cool new syntax that makes said aparactchik seem fashionably appointed, etc.)

Sorry, given the diabolical nature of the second one, I am going to have to say exile, banishment, at least a stint at Passages in Malibu, is going to be required. And let‘s not forget, this was the number one finding of metrics studies long before our profession became infused with process experts: engineers tend to devote vast amounts of the effort pie to things that do little to increase overall efficiencies.

How many of the hundreds of Java APIs are worth a damn? Seriously, it is time to start thinking about approaches like Mongo‘s: the core written in C++, an outer rim in a combination of python and Javascript. The French have laws on the books about what ingredients can go into bread, how long you have to wait to cut it. We let people erect vast software domains having asked for no proof of competence, seriousness, familiarity with tools, then we let them settle into workflows that are so deadeningly limp only the mind of a 3 toed creature could endure, without succumbing to rage. That would be enough, but throw in a steaming helping of hubris and it‘s a real nice cocktail, yo.

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