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Dating and HTTP Response Codes

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Dating and HTTP Response Codes

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Men don't understand women, or so my wife tells me when I'm actually listening. Women are even harder for most geeks for grok. So when I was going through the HTML response codes, I noted that some of them could be used by a women when a man uses a pickup line on her.

Ladies, won't it be great to get your point across easily and with no confusion? Men are clueless and can't take a hint. Now there won't be any more mixed signals. Keep the guys you want and get rid of the rest.

Men, we're good with numbers, right? We are men after all. But women? Do we ever know what they really want? No means yes. Yes means no. A or B? No! It's secret option C! WiFi encryption was easier to crack. But we're the Japanese navy and they're the Navajos. So, wouldn't it be great if if we could get clear and meaningful responses from them? Why waste time with a girl who doesn't dig us when Miss Right Now could just be around the corner.

Great! Now that we're all in agreement, I present...

The Female HTTP Response Codes for Male Advances

Response Code
HTTP Meaning What Women Mean
100 Continue
Buy me another drink.
200 OK
OK! Let's dance!
202 Accepted
Don't go away just yet.
No Content
I'm an airhead. Don't expect much conversation.
300 Multiple Choices
Have you met my friends?
Moved Permanently
I'm giving you my number, but it's fake.
302 Found
Call me later.
Use Proxy
Talk to the hand!
400 Bad Request
Your pickup line sucked. Go away.
Not while my boyfriend is watching.
Payment Required
I'm a hooker.
403 Forbidden
My religion prevents me from talking to you.
404 Not Found
Who are you talking to?
406 Not Acceptable
Move along, loser.
408 Request Timeout
Dude, I haven't got all day!
Can't you see I'm on a date?
410 Gone
See ya.
Length Required
You must be this long to ride this ride.
Precondition Failed
Would it kill you to take a shower and put on some nice clothes?
Request Too Large Lose some weight, tubby.
Request Too Long Whoa! Back off there, Seabiscuit!
Request Not Satisfiable I don't swing that way.
Expectation Failed
I'm really a guy.
I'm wearing a chastity belt.
Upgrade Required
Come back when you drive a Porsche.
Internal Server Error
I'm crazy.
Service Unavailable
I'm rebooting the Ovarian Operating System, if you know what I mean.
Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
Shut up already!
Not Extended
Come back when you're happy to see me.


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