I work with fantastic people and I have done so for a long time. I haven't always appreciated them. I used to blame and judge them, unable to recognize the real causes of the problems. I don’t do this anymore, something has changed and it isn’t the people.
For most of my working life I have felt separated from those I need to be working with. Sometimes the separation is a structural one, hierarchical or departmental, sometimes it’s just in my head. Looking up and down on people, or from afar, created frustration, fear, anger, competitiveness, blame and of course, judgement. I judge you as a terrible leader when in reality it’s just our relationship that is terrible. These feelings create more separation. Separation feeds animosity, reinforcing our shields, separating us further. This cycle is why the haters hate.
Today I’m finding the courage to ignore hierarchy and artificial boundaries, and by doing so we have started to fix these destructive relationships. As equals, where we can all have a say, the frustration subsides. As we come closer and begin to learn from each other, we can start to work effectively again, collaboratively.
Please find the courage to come together, too.