This seems simple, but I think we struggle to appreciate the profound effect our behaviors have on each other.
When you ignore my request for help, I withdraw a little bit more. When you tell me what to do, my self-esteem shrinks a little. When you blame me, I strengthen my shields and prepare for counter attack. We copy each other's behavior, increasing the distance between us, making effective collaboration impossible. We’re unable to operate as a team. Misery.
When you offer me help, I feel more confident, more courageous. When you listen, I think more about what I’m saying. I return your kindness, your compassion, your empathy. Mindfulness spreads throughout the team. We’re thinking, listening, supporting one another.
Happiness and Effectiveness
It only takes one person to break the pattern of destructive behavior and mindfulness can slowly start to spread. What blocks its progress? Abusive hierarchical relationships, fear, punishment, pressure. I’m lucky to work in a team with supportive rather than controlling managers and our team is happy, supportive, confident and courageous.
It’s all down to us