An Open Letter to Klouchebag
Join the DZone community and get the full member experience.
Join For FreeDear Tom,
Big fan of Klouchebag. Built in just a few hours. Hosted in the Cloud. Leveraging APIs to access realtime data. All the checkboxes for success in today's web. And it came at just the right time, since Klout has obviously jumped the shark with this article in Wired magazine. Not only does Klouchebag boldly claim dominion as "The Standard of Asshattery", but it plays the yang to the ying that has become social media. But this is not a fan letter, it's a blueprint for potential riches as we potentially near the next bubble.
"Social" and "Big Data" are two of the hot buttons in technology these days. Klouchebag is clearly at the intersection of those tsunami trends. It has potential, but it needs the right type of guidance. Here are my suggestions to properly take advantage of the buzz you've created.
- Several years ago I wrote several suggestions
for how Facebook could monetize their services. With a potential
$85-100B valuation at IPO, they are going to look for new ways to
monetize the platform. Klouchebag has a play here. So many new friend
requests on Facebook are from old friends. Maybe they were a friend
before, but what have they become? Klouchebag could enhance my ability
to decide if that guy from 11th grade English class should grace my
timeline going forward. It could also provide users with real-time
feedback on their level of asshattery as they post drunken photos, lunch
photos, or requests to help grow organic cabbage on Farmville.
Advertisers could tap into this knowledge to offer counseling services,
resume updating services, or designated driver services. (Value: $250M)
- Google Glasses have geek potential to deliver augmented reality to
everyday experiences (Yelp scores, directions, etc.), but where the real
potential lies is the ability to eliminate awkward small-talk or
introductions. By embedding Klouchebag scores into the glasses, combined
with facial recognition, anybody could easily avoid hearing about your
recent breakup, your uncomfortable perspiration issues or how bad your
latest airline experience was. (Value: $100M)
- With the 2012 election coming up this fall, and both parties
leveraging social media more, the ability to capture demographic data
becomes critical. Which cities or states are the klouchest? Which issues
bring out greater klouchey emotions? Is there a correlation between
asshattery and campaign contributions or proclivity to vote? (Value: $200-500M from each party, plus licensing fees to major TV networks)
- Many Apple fanboys enjoy the Siri personal assistance capabilities
of the iPhone 4S, but it's a 1:1 service. But too many of us spend way
too many hours on conference calls and in meetings. Where is the service
to stop a meeting at the 23 minute mark and proclaim the level of
asshattery is reaching epic proportions? Enter Klouchebag-for-Meetings,
an add-on service for WebEx, LiveMeeting or GoToMeeting. It could signal
the host, notify all participants, or just shut down the meeting to
avoid grave horrors and debacles of Biblical proportions. (Value: $150M)
- As more and more of our buying habits move online, with impulse
services like Amazon Prime or One-Click, the chances of letting things
get out of control continue to grow. Do you need help? Should your
friends and family be able to step in when you buy that rare Marvel
comics lithograph or your 12th Ed Hardy t-shirt? Klouchebag could be
like an online BatSignal for yourself, or the ones that care enough to
not let you wear skinny jeans in public. (Value: License revenue from Square, PayPal, Visa, MasterCard, AMEX, etc. - $1B year.)
Published at DZone with permission of Brian Gracely, DZone MVB. See the original article here.
Opinions expressed by DZone contributors are their own.
Comments