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Corny Programming Jokes

· Java Zone

Check out this 8-step guide to see how you can increase your productivity by skipping slow application redeploys and by implementing application profiling, as you code! Brought to you in partnership with ZeroTurnaround.

Many of these programmer jokes are aimed at Java developers.

- What are you doing on this bench with a bank slip and a marker?
- Benchmarking our transactions.

 

What’s “on” on Earth? The air conditional.

 

 

What do communists and functional programmers have in common? They hate classes.

 

 

“You shall not pass by reference”, said Gandalf to James Gosling.

 

 

I’ll create a programming language named obl. That way, when using a for-loop, I will be obl-iterating.

 

 

Why are “i”, “j” and “k” the most used letters for loop variables? Ask Dijkstra.

 

 

What’s common about basements and maven repositories? They hold jars.

 

 

I’ve written a movie about insects. Here’s the Ant script.

 

- What are you doing with this bucket of paint at the construction site?
- Making the build green.

 

 

Write string concatenation in PHP on the dotted line.

 

 

A garbage collector joined Men in Black to help them with erasing memory.

 

I asked the Oracle what is my future, and it responded with ORA-27102: out of memory

The Java Zone is brought to you in partnership with ZeroTurnaround. Check out this 8-step guide to see how you can increase your productivity by skipping slow application redeploys and by implementing application profiling, as you code!

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